“Acceptance” does not mean giving in to your illness, refusing to fight, or rejecting hope – at least, that is not what it means to me. It simply means accepting your illness as a reality, acknowledging its existence and its very real effects and limitations upon your life. It is conceding you cannot always control it and understanding your life has been altered, perhaps forever. Moreover, it means making necessary adjustments, physically and mentally, so that you can move forward and not remain “stuck” in the past.
I know this is not a simple process, and I understand there will be periods of mourning for all you have lost and continue to lose. Those moments of grief might never completely disappear, but they can be minimized, pushed to the back of your mind. Grieve – grieve until the tears stop flowing – grieve for all you have lost and for all the plans and goals you might (MIGHT) never achieve – but then pick yourself up and make a commitment to move on and find a new life, one filled with joy.
What good does it do to mourn the past and neglect the present? You cannot live your life with joy if you are constantly focused on loss. And as long as you believe there is nothing left to live for, then, indeed, there will be nothing. You must find the good in the here and now, no matter how small, and build on it. You can set new goals and dream new dreams. Make adjustments and control what you can, where you can, and when you can – and let the rest go. Learn to accept yourself, with all your lovely imperfections, frailties, and limitations, and live fully in the present moment.
Find the good, the beauty, and the wonder in your present reality. Look hard, and you will see it. You can be at peace under any circumstances, but you must be willing to give up false beliefs and allow the memories to become merely fond remembrances. To do otherwise is to remain mired in a time that is long gone.
*Please also see http://melissarvh.blogspot.com/2016/04/every-now-and-then-when-i-am-all-alone.html. It is a bit more personal look at the struggle. I hope it helps someone in some small way.*