This morning, I was thinking about (and fuming over) an article I read a few years ago in which a physician commented that we are a society lacking coping skills, a people seeking "quick fixes" for our pain, one that needs to acknowledge that "suffering is part of life." He was lamenting the fact that patients came to him seeking pain-relieving medications (opioids, to be precise). His tone was mocking, condescending, and completely void of empathy or compassion, and I immediately thought to myself, "I wonder how he would feel if he lived with Gastroparesis for a spell?"
Now, I would wish this illness on no one, of course, but I am guessing the good doctor has never experienced the sort of chronic pain that I and so many in our Gastroparesis community daily endure. Perhaps I should grace him with the details...
My pain is overwhelming, send-me-to-my-knees, curl-up-in-a-ball, beg-for-mercy suffering for which no level of coping skills can prepare one. It is daily, ever-present, a physical and mental torture that confines me to my home, tethers me to a heating pad, stains my cheeks with tears, and transforms me into a raging, agonized beast who would give almost anything to rid herself of it.
It impedes sleep, and when (if) rest finally comes, it awakens me again in the nighttime. It haunts and taunts me with the knowledge that no matter how well I battled it today, it will be back again the next morning for another round -- perhaps stronger than the day before. Mentally, emotionally, and physically, it alters my being, changes who I am, and wears on me until I believe I can bear no more. And, yet, I must. I have no choice. It comes. I cannot will it away, wish it away, or pray it away. At best, I can lessen it to the point where I can function in some minimal fashion, but it will not be ignored nor placed on a back-burner. And it does not end. Ever.
So I take issue, O Wise Healer, with your suggestion that I have no coping skills and seek, instead, a "quick fix" to all of life's problems. Suffering is, indeed, a part of life, but I would wager that my suffering and that of many in my GP and chronic pain communities is nothing akin to what you have experienced. And after more than nine years of this torturous life, I am well aware there is no simple solution, no easy, consequence-free choice. But would a moment of relief, one serene, carefree, beautiful, blissful moment free from this pain be too much to ask, to expect? You hold the power to provide that, and yet you chastise us for desiring it.
I should probably clarify that I do not now, nor have I ever, used opioids. That's right, I have chosen to endure the "discomfort," as the article's author so blithely labels my suffering. But I do not make this choice lightly, and there are many days I yearn to take a different path. Many in my community do take that road. They turn to opioids (or other pain medications) because, without them, there simply is no quality of life. They cannot function in the most basic ways. They desire some small measure of comfort in a world of chronic illness where there is little.
Good Doctor, you think yourself so wise and strong because you have been blessed with a nearly pain-free, healthy existence. But take a moment to consider the "lessers" before you pass your profound judgment upon us, and, perhaps, view us from an alternate perspective -- one of compassion and empathy, free from judgment and assumptions about our motives and our abilities to "cope." We know a struggle few will ever experience.
Should we not have a voice in our care, in the path we walk? Patients are disregarded, ignored, imprisoned by pain, devoid of options... and this is unforgivable.
No, Good Doctor, I do not need any further instruction on how to endure pain. I am a trooper, a master of "overcoming," who is quite capable of "coping with" and "managing" pain; I am simply tired of having to do it! I want relief, an end to this madness. I want a cure.
Why is that so difficult to understand?
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